@sarcasticmommy4: One of the greatest gifts my kids have given me is my high tolerance for alcohol.
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@dreamthievin: A true Columbus Day sale in a mattress store would mean all the merchandise is infested with smallpox
@tdwyer618: The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
@NYC_Blonde: I thought all the men at my gym were being exceptionally nice for a Monday morning but turns out my workout pants are just see-through.
@JKNenagh: Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me:If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too? #slapped