@clarkekant: One of the hardest parts of being a parent is discovering your 6 year old is better than you at every video game ever.
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@PetrickSara: Does anyone know a good locksmith? I spent the entire day cleaning the entire house and need to keep my family out.
@Izianikapani: Obstetrician who has taken up magic as a hobby: and what have we here? *pulls out baby after baby after baby after baby after baby...
@abbycohenwl: *pulls motorist over* COP: Are you high? MAN: If I were high would you look like a breathing tree? *one leaf silently falls from cop*