@SpokeAna: One of the lights in my bathroom is out. I look at least ten years younger.
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@robwhisman: don't hate robert altman's 1992 satirical comedy "the player" hate david fincher's 1997 psychological thriller "the game"
@DrDogMD: PATIENT: Doc, I haven't been able to bone my wife lately and I really think- DR DOG: Wait. Tell me more about the bone part
@Brianhopecomedy: My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn't even come close to my 5 year old's reaction when I told him that there's no school today.
@Playing_Dad: Pizza Hut: Hello Me: I'd like a hot dog bites pizzas PH: Pick up or delivery? Me: Based on that order, you think I get off the couch?