@jakob_huber: One of the most romantic things a rose can do for another rose is leave a trail of human body parts from the front door to the bedroom.
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@Tommytoughstuff: [Post fight interview w/ boxer Joey "poor choice of words" Stevens] Joey: "I just couldn't get that guy to go down on me."
@Bandersnaaatch: Trapped on a train in the snow, and honestly, none of these people look appetizing.
@longwall26: I know this is only our second date, Susan, and maybe I'm moving too fast, but I'd like permission to rename your cat.
@BevisSimpson: Its really disgusting how other white people dont even know about the plight of [quickly wikipedias "Who is having alot of plight 2012]