@jakob_huber: One of the most romantic things a rose can do for another rose is leave a trail of human body parts from the front door to the bedroom.
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@rad_milk: if the sun is such a cool and great star then why do all the other stars leave when it shows up
@shutupmikeginn: I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.
@markleggett: At some point, male "pick-up artists" are just going to start chasing women around like Benny Hill.
@geowizzacist: (Final maths exam) Q: what are the two small horizontal parallel lines? a) double negative b) equals c) eleven fell over