@jakob_huber: One of the most romantic things a rose can do for another rose is leave a trail of human body parts from the front door to the bedroom.
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@ariscott: [Day after Xmas] 7am: I am detoxing today, only fruit and liquids for me 9am: There are worse things than eating 14 cookies for breakfast
@MarieColette: I don't watch wedding shows and get excited about getting married but I do watch Dateline and get excited about being murdered.
@thecrabbyhook: You know how one lie leads to another? Well, to cut a long story short, my 7yo daughter now thinks she's allergic to owls.