@Kamikaze_Blonde: Some days parenting's like The Sound of Music but with less singing and more hiding from the Nazis.
@UnFitz: If I see a dog in a hot car, I'm always troubled.
Why don't I have a hot car like that?
How much does that dog make per year?
@QwertyJones3: Girl: I dumped my last boyfriend cause he always gave short answers. I never knew what he was thinking. That's so annoying, right?
Me: Word
@Social_Mime: *calls restaurant*
Me: Hi is your place a kid friendly restaurant?
Host: Of course it is sir
*hangs up*
@MRagaab: What I say: I'm on a diet. What my mom hears: please cook delicious food and buy chocolate.
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