@GuttaLikeNoOtha: One problem with autocorrect is that you always end up posting some thong that you didn't Nintendo.
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@AndyAsAdjective: [SETI receives extraterrestrial signal from 95 light years away] [scientist decodes message in the signal] "enough…with…the…Harambe…jokes"
@slimmy_shady: My neighbour hit the post reversing out of the driveway. He hit the poor man delivering it too.
@trevso_electric: Thank you for ordering this $2 necklace from Etsy. With shipping your total comes to $758,937. Item will arrive from Uzbekistan in 3 years