@GuttaLikeNoOtha: One problem with autocorrect is that you always end up posting some thong that you didn't Nintendo.
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@HumanPog: sometimes if i'm having trouble falling asleep i just pretend i'm watching lord of the rings
@KoJo_Sunshine: I have 6 locks on my door. When I leave, I lock 3. So no matter how long somebody tries to pick the locks, they are always locking 3. Suckas
@rolldiggity: New Parent Idea: 1. Take pictures of you pulling baby out of spacecraft in forest. 2. Hide pictures in attic for kid to find when he's 10.
@ibid78: [me] if all dogs go to heaven, then what about Cujo? [the pope] how did you get into my bathroom?