@itsa_talia: one time a friend asked me "how are you still single?!" and the list of reasons is still compiling in my head
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@mansizedthumbs: Little did he know that his foot powered filing system would have made him billions if he had only thought of a better name - The Ped-o-file
@KKAlThani: I'm not the jealous type. And no I don't know why every time you talk to someone the police find their body dumped in a river the next day.
@hippieswordfish: before guns were invented, armies had to throw bullets at each other and if a bullet touched you, you had to sit out until the next war
@lilgapeach30: The black smoke coming from my toaster indicates a new pop tart has been selected!