@itsa_talia: one time a friend asked me "how are you still single?!" and the list of reasons is still compiling in my head
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@RightOJack: My GF spent $49 on a haircut. Had she gone to Petsmart she'd have gotten an ear cleaning, anal gland extraction and a free bandana as well.
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Says here you do magic tricks? ME: *hands him back his business card* Is this your card? INTERVIEWER: holy shit
@lasergirl70: I'm pretty sure I made one of those "If we're both still single" pacts with someone. I just wish I'd written down his name.
@AbbyHasIssues: The cashier told me to have a good New Year like my purchase of oven cleaner and frozen pizza suggests anything else.