@zacharyflynn: One time a girl told me to take off her shirt and I was like wow ok it doesn't really fit me anyway.
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@david8hughes: If you see a distressed woman in the street screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one.
@13spencer: You know what they say, the secret to a good relationship is never going to bed married.
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [at BBQ] Wow...trying to wrap my mouth around this bratwurst reminds me of my first high school boyfriend. He hated bratwurst.
@ninjadinosaur1: He thinks the stuffed animals in my room are creepy, but I can't think of a cuter way to hide all those cameras.