@zacharyflynn: One time a girl told me to take off her shirt and I was like wow ok it doesn't really fit me anyway.
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@JazzJazzybc: I always said I'd never chase after a man, but the older I get, I seriously consider power-walking after one.
@C_J_Commode: I've reached the point of laziness where even laying around has become too much for me to handle.
@JVarsityCaptain: My ex can't take his new girlfriend to basketball games because she gets pissed when the whole stadium makes fun of her by yelling REBOUND!
@iAmDelFreaky: Me: Take my pic *hands him camera & giggles* Him: What's funny? Me: Nothing. Him: *presses button, explodes, dies* Me: Ha! Photo bombed!