@zacharyflynn: One time a girl told me to take off her shirt and I was like wow ok it doesn't really fit me anyway.
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@noog: Spider: Why don't you like us? Most us are harmless and we kill all the bugs in your house? We just want to help Humans: EW EW EW EW OMG
@skylerhanrath: Mike: Mom! We're out of burrito paper! Mom: Dammit Mike, they're tortillas. You're twenty six.