@ch000ch: one time a kid at recess said i couldnt actually dig a hole to china, i said "Watch me" then walked away. i avoided him the rest of the year
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@OpenClassMX: My actual wife and my twitter wife are talking via Kik. I will be camping in the woods forever if you need me.
@therealeatwood: BRAM STOKER: I wrote this 64-page story about a vampire EDITOR: It’s good but can you add 300 pages of vampire hunters tracking a shipment
@david8hughes: [first day as tour guide in New York] Me: that's the Statue of Liberty Guy: what is she clutching Me [awkward long pause]: all the liberty