@moooooog35: One time I brought my kids to work with me and now my boss is way more tolerant of my drinking.
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@laurascaz: INFORMER!!! Younosaydahdfrxqpgirnmekdmhgjwrztnhyenixblaamm... A LICKY BOOM BOOM DOWN!
@truegritrumble: ANCHOR: Now over to Mike for the weather. ME: IT'S REALLY WEATHERY RIGHT NOW, CARL, WITH MORE WEATHER TO COME! THAT'S IT FOR THE WEATHER!
@A_SternMan: [interview] Your résumé says you have a "take no prisoners attitude". You know you are applying to be a corrections officer, right?
@CrackYouWhip: I tried to make a smoothie for lunch. Apparently, three frozen pizzas will break a juicer.