@moooooog35: One time I brought my kids to work with me and now my boss is way more tolerant of my drinking.
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@Leslie_Annie: 8 yr old: mommy, why are you laying on the floor? Me: I just did 438 sit ups. 8: sounds legit. I've taught her well.
@PJTLynch: Announcer: "Welcome to the Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show. Are you ready to rock?!" [crowd goes nuts] A: "Well too bad, here's Coldplay"
@Beer4AGoodTime: Getting married is easy, staying married is hard. Just ask my girlfriend, her husband drives her crazy.
@vladchoc: Stephanie, I am out to lunch. If the Sims I trapped in this bedroom finally fall in love page me IMMEDIATELY. Yes, I know they look like us.