@WheelTod: One time I dated a yoga instructor & my buddies said "Man. She must be really flexible!" but I told them "No, she has to work most weekends"
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@ComeHome4Dinner: 2 grams for $40??? Son, you are getting soooooo ripped off. Go see Jermaine on Fremont St. Tell him Your Mother sent you.
@QwertyJones3: [First date] Ok, don't let her know you're a pharmacist Her: Can you pass the salt? "Sure, it'll be ready in two hours."
@ryaninco: There's three cop cars in the parking lot of my gym. This might be my last Tweet for a little while.