@Eatingmeals: One time I did mushrooms and played GTA and felt regret for the lives I was taking I was all "Holy shit these people have families"
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@Smooheed: When I'm pushing the twins in the pram and someone asks me if they're mine I say 'no, they're for my collection' and run as fast as I can
@agathagotstoned: The plane starts going down. I say, "If we die, know that hat is hideous". We all survive. Great Aunt Mildred hasn't spoken to me since.