@brennadine: One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
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@duumb: [wheel of fortune] me: id like to buy a vowel pat: arent u a millenial me: [sigh] id like to rent a vowel
@KalvinMacleod: My wife made me pack my own bag for vacation and now I have to figure out how to wear potato chips.
@dumbbeezie: Please pray for girls everywhere who are getting a "What's up" text right now Be strong. Don't answer. Eat ice cream.
@Ristolable: Someone just posted an article on Facebook and said "file this under sad." WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE FILING EVERYTHING