@ericsshadow: One time I fell off a 20ft ladder, then climbed right back up and jumped off a second time to show that ladder who's in charge.
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@CorkyCrash: I've become obsessed with the idea that Jesus was a terrible guitarist but no one told him to stop because they were afraid of his dad.
@WickedDarkEyes: I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know... Oreos.
@hoeroins: someone just tweeted "do crabs think fish are flying" and i just know this is all i'll think about for the rest of the year