@dulcetry: One time I got so nervous when a guy took off his pants in front of me I said "friggity diggity" please do not rt
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@CoreyKeyz: Don't bring up something I said 30 minutes ago. I'm a different person, I've changed since then.
@TheTweetOfGod: "Lord, can I have a pony?" Sure. Just as soon as I get a prayer from a pony asking for a little girl with no clue how to take care of it.
@TheDailySchmuck: First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.
@blopt: My parents are middle aged. "Mine are to-" [parents burst through bedroom door on horses] "CHILD! DOST THOU DESIRE NOURISHMENT?"