@dulcetry: One time I got so nervous when a guy took off his pants in front of me I said "friggity diggity" please do not rt
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@gojarbe: "and this lake shall be called Superior" all the other Great Lakes: "k wow we're like right here"
@Sir_Strange: *sends you a pic of a kitten* *you reply, "Awe"* *face melts* *responds, "We've been over this already, it's "Aww"* *deletes your number*
@juicymorsel: My teen thought it'd be funny to unfriend me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
@JosesLovesYou: For a hero, it's pretty cool that Mario is just a dude who ignores his real job, does mushrooms and smashes his head into things all day.