@shkeeber: One time I intentionally asked a thin woman "when she was due" because I was bored. So yeah, I guess you could say I'm into extreme sports.
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@VerifiedDrunk: Getting marriage advice from a priest is like taking your lawn mower to Burger King to get repaired.
@kwirkyKerri: The spider I let live in my kitchen is letting the bugs run amok. No free rides! Your days are numbered missy.
@LOUD_Thoughts_: When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.