@shkeeber: One time I intentionally asked a thin woman "when she was due" because I was bored. So yeah, I guess you could say I'm into extreme sports.
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@TheTweetOfGod: When people say "To be honest...", it means that up to that point they've been lying.
@Phoebetate: To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy.
@comer310: Hey gurl, were you taped to the inside of a birthday card from my grandmother? Cause you're a dime.