@noog: One time I made a snowman and gave him a cucumber nose. Carrot noses are the standard protocol but I'm what u would call a rebel.
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@omgthatspunny: It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it
@specialsquid: "Hi, my name is Gary and I'm a shopaholic, my favorite place to shop is the alcohol store."
@Brianhopecomedy: I probably should've said, "Congrats on your 4th child!" instead of "Halfway there, OctoMom".
@mattZillaaaa: Whenever someone tells me "make yourself at home" at their house, I always clog their toilet