@noog: One time I made a snowman and gave him a cucumber nose. Carrot noses are the standard protocol but I'm what u would call a rebel.
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@QwertyJones3: I always keep a water spray bottle next to my bed in case a cat burglar breaks in.
@BarebakAssassin: Some people don't realize how grateful they should be that I'm not allowed to carry a sword in public.
@ch000ch: ME [8:49PM]: on my way, taking a crab GF [8:50PM]: u mean a cab ME [8:52PM]: not exactly. be there in several days
@crylosec: [train station] Man: hey you. Woman: Hi. M: i'm Christian. W: That's a pickup line? *rolls eyes, walks away M: ugh. i hate my name.