@squirrel74wkgn: One time, I pulled my pants down to moon someone & accidentally opened the car door instead of the window & rolled down the street naked.
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@jwoodham: Just once I'd like to see a celebrity show up to the red carpet in jeans and be like, "Oh, was this today? I was just in the neighborhood."
@philmann: PRIEST: In the beginning there was the word ME: capsicum P: no M: tumescent gerund caliphate P: stop trying to guess the word M: maelstrom
@turtledumplin: My oldest son & his gf were cooking & asked me how many 1/4 cups are in 1 cup .... Gonna write a nasty letter 2 college & ask for a refund