@squirrel74wkgn: One time, I pulled my pants down to moon someone & accidentally opened the car door instead of the window & rolled down the street naked.
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@underchilde: I’m just going to keep telling people they’re pretty until someone offers to pay for my laser eye surgery.
@_Water_Baby: Endless love does not extend to my root beer float. That second straw is decorative.
@SpenceDen: I carry my checkbook with me everywhere just in case someone wants to be paid in the least convenient way possible.