@zachreinert03: One time I saw a duck get hit by a wonder bread truck and that's pretty much why I try not to get too ambitious
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheRealRHB: Debit card was repeatedly declined at the grocery store today. I was trying to buy vegetables so the bank just assumed the card was stolen
@iAmDelFreaky: Me: So, hypothetically speaking, if we were dating would I get any free food? Her: Uh, excuse me? Me: *sigh* #1 combo with cheese, please.
@68Cly29: 50 shades - only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer, it would be another episode of criminal minds
@SmokeyDokey43: 1:40am. I get up to pee and step on a squeaky dog toy. He grabs a bat by the bed and yells, "Fried chicken!" So are the days of our lives.