@erica_rosie: One time I smashed my face into a keyboard and accidentally wrote the fifth Twilight book.
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@SteveSuckington: 1st wise man: I brought gold for the baby 2nd wise man: [hiding frankincense behind his back] actually that gold is from both of us
@ElleOhHell: "We're a completely paperless office." Wow, that's really cool. [Later, staring at iPad dispenser in bathroom] Well this sucks.
@13spencer: I work in the entertainment industry, so the only way I could lie more is if I worked in politics.