@BlairLoudly: One time I threw my cat at a spider so I could escape, but sure I'd love to hold your baby
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@daemonic3: Son, always wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming "But dad we're goldfish" Oh yeah, I forgot "Forgot what?"
@savvystrider: Why do people assume I know all about computers just because I'm from India? That makes so I angry I just want to 01010010101010101010101
@Ristolable: For sale: car. Does not stop. You will have to jump in as I jump out. I have been driving this car for three years. Please help me
@protolalia: Looking for a job on Craigslist. A guy wants to pay $150 to borrow a valid driver's license to rent a car. What could possibly go wrong?