@MrRamBillings: One time I was so high, my flatscreen fell off the wall and I thought it was just part of the movie.
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@Plurmo: "What should we call the big finger?" "'Thumb' seems as good as any." "Impressive. What about this smallest one?" "PINKY!" "............."
@Maxine12333: If you're feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
@AtticusFinch79: [face to face with a serial killer] Me: So this is how it ends. SK: Kill you? In this economy? I just needed to borrow a cup of sugar.
@KoJo_Sunshine: I have 6 locks on my door. When I leave, I lock 3. So no matter how long somebody tries to pick the locks, they are always locking 3. Suckas