@MrRamBillings: One time I was so high, my flatscreen fell off the wall and I thought it was just part of the movie.
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@xLiserx: Me: 6 tacos, please. Him: This is an ice cream truck. Me: 6 tacos & a swirl cone. Him: We don't serve tacos. Me: Your taco truck is broken.
@_RealBlondeGirl: I hate it when candidates put signs on your lawn without even asking your permission. Who the hell is 'Foreclosure'?
@MartaEffing: Her: I love your lip gloss. What brand is it? Me: *looks puzzled*licks lips* It's donut glaze.