@HumanPog: one time i went to the bathroom and i didn't know my xbox headset was still on and the other gamers heard me give myself a pep talk
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@Tmoney68: [Doctor's Office] Dr: I'm not going to candy-coat this.... Me: *misses bad results of test because I'm imagining a coat made of Skittles*
@hippieswordfish: robber 1: *puts ski mask on head* you grab the money while i kiss all the bankers robber 2: huh? robber 1: uh i meant kill *hides lipstick*
@gitson_shiggles: Turns out that when asked which was my favourite of all the X-Men that "Caitlyn Jenner" was not a valid answer.