@DanMentos: One time in 1997 I forgot to close my air quotes so everything I've said since then has been sarcastic
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NamestartswithZ: Two gunslingers face each other in the street, waiting to draw. Minutes pass. I'm still obliviously standing between them sipping a Slurpee.
@DaveAhdoot: Tim Cook has announced that he's gay. Samsung just filed a lawsuit claiming they came out of the closet 3 years ago. #Apple
@rickolantern: My girlfriend wants me to stain the new wooden fence in her backyard. So I'm going to eat spaghetti over it for a few weeks
@rolldiggity: I just hope people who say "Jesus is my co-pilot" realize he's a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator.