@zoeklar: One time John Waters spilled water on me and my mom said "thank god his name isn't John Barbecue Sauce!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ThisOneSayz: Me: It's unrealistic that the Angels blindly trusted Charlie's voice coming through a speaker, amirite? Siri: I'm not sure I understand
@amazymay72x: *coughs like a maniac* *pretends to pick nose* *scratches armpit* Things I will do on the bus so no one will sit next to me.
@MrMichaelRose: I went to Lowe's to buy a human-sized microwave & the guy loudly said they don't exist & then took me to a back room & they had lots of them
@TheBoydP: Today is national pet day. There is no touching of people in national pet day. I know this now.