@zoeklar: One time John Waters spilled water on me and my mom said "thank god his name isn't John Barbecue Sauce!"
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@ConcernedSirGuy: Sirs & Ma'ams, It is a well-known fact that when Jesus takes the wheel, He doesn't just stop with the wheel. He takes the stereo too.
@AmishPornStar1: If you accidentally use Pam cooking spray instead of Off... It still works, because the mosquitoes just slide off your legs.