@weinerdog4life: One time my dad caught me doing homework and made me eat an entire pack of calculators
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@CrazyExhaustion: Went to a public park and my 4yo was like, "Is this Disney World?!" The answer is yes and I'll cut anyone who tells her differently.
@Angibangie: Me: I like a full bodied wine. Date: I'm not that knowledgeable about wine. Me: It's like, when the grapes were really thicc.
@LunchJournals: "I'm a big fan of 50 cent. Or as he's known in Zimbabwe: four hundred million dollars."
@Maxine12333: If ex asks you to go bungee jumping remember, cord goes around feet not neck, no matter what they tell you.