@TheNardvark: One time my dad caught me smoking an e-cig so he took me out to the shed and made me smoke an entire VCR.
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@o__0Dev: I tried a vegan recipe book last night. It was much tastier than any of the recipes in it.
@kwirkyKerri: I've never been offered money for sex. Never been offered money to not have sex either. So there's that.
@iGreenMonk: How girls put on their pants: *Left leg* *Right leg* *Wiggle* *Wiggle* *Jump* *Jump* *Squat* *Stretch* Done..