@OBiiieeee: one time my dad walked in on me smoking an E cig and made me eat a whole pack of batteries
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@thesulk: Pizza Hut ad: "Do you want the same old same old, or do you want the original?" Think about these words.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Spider-Man is my favorite superhero whose name is made up of 2 things that scare the shit out of me.
@ValeeGrrl: Husband: *hacks up lung* I think I'm comin down with something Me: lol ok whatever Kid: *tiny cough* Me: OMG MY POOR BABY COME TO MOMMA