@Stellacopter: One time my husband asked me to dance for him and I performed the entire Lion King musical to the best of my ability.
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@craiguito: If your partner says "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new," "anything" doesn't include getting stuck in a traffic jam
@TheMichaelRock: My 14yo made fun of me this morning because I had to go to work while he had a snow day, so I changed the wifi password.
@brocketxyz: My greatest accomplishment as a father? Teaching my son to scream, "I WANT MOMMY," whenever my wife sends me into his room.