@Stellacopter: One time my husband asked me to dance for him and I performed the entire Lion King musical to the best of my ability.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@tweetarded1: Officer: "didn't you know that sleeping in your car on the side of the road is illegal ?" Me: "yes I did officer. But this isn't my car"
@asimplesean: Actually, until you cut into it it's chocolate *magma* cake. If you could just bring me a menu with the proper nomenclature that'd be great.
@aLunchBox: Ignorant person: "You're Canadian. You live in igloos, right?" Me: "You're American. You live in McDonalds', Right?
@NikiWithIssues: Some days I want to leave everything and just run away with him. Other days I want to own 3 baby dragons and be fireproof and naked.