@mrsjohngoodman: One time my teacher was telling a story about war and the girl in front of me slowly opened her laptop and liked Downy on Facebook.
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@charmfoz: The best things in life are free. Unless it's herpes. Stay away from people who want to give you free herpes.
@combatacademysd: To me, being Single means never having to apologize.. Unless someone drops by my disgusting house unannounced
@OuterJohn: 1) Throw a ball of yarn into a fencing battle 2) Wait until the fight is over 3) Retrieve your fully-knitted sweater
@milehighocd: Me: You ask so many questions that I want to stab a fork in my eye. Her: Why? Me: *stabs fork into eye*