@mrsjohngoodman: One time my teacher was telling a story about war and the girl in front of me slowly opened her laptop and liked Downy on Facebook.
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@Habbibti: A grand jury is made up of a cross-section of the community. I ride the train w/the cross-section & it's mostly people peeing on the floor.
@electrolemon: independence day 2 has been out in the US for mere hours and it has already been upstaged by a somehow even worse independence day overseas
@IamEnidColeslaw: watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. you're welcome
@lazerdoov: "Be cool, it's the cops" I said to my 3 cats I dressed up like robbers as my other 3 cats came out of the kitchen dressed like policemen