@Donnie_Fairburn: One time someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?
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@jenniferfralic: The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not have brains is great news for stupid people.
@TheMichaelRock: News: Don't panic about Ebola, but please watch this nonstop coverage about how it could spread everywhere and kill you. Don't panic though.
@ibid78: A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
@TheTweetOfGod: NEW YEAR'S LOGIC 1. The planet is passing through an arbitrary spot on its unceasing orbit around the sun. 2. Time to lay off chocolate.