@EJGomez: one time this girl pulled me close & said "I'm the girl your mom warned you about" & I said "so you chose bulbasaur as your starter pokemon"
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@Cpin42: I hate when I show up to a funeral and another guy is wearing the same hot dog costume.
@HellisWorthit: I bet the worst part about kidnapping someone is knowing they are just sitting there in your trunk, judging your choice in music.
@Macar00ny: Give a man a subtweet and he'll be like "is this about me?" Teach a man to subtweet you'll be like "is that about me?"