@Nahdude83: Onions are the Russian nesting dolls of the vegetable world.
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@SlayerSays: You can't make blanket statements & expect people to take you seriously, but since I hate clowns I'm pretty sure everyone else does too.
@carlyken: Kids, in my day we didn't have text messaging. We had to write a "Do you like me: Yes or no?" note and pass it through 17 mutual friends.
@WilliamRodgers: Waitress: And what can I get for you, hon? Jesus: I'll have........ (snickering) a water
@Jandalize: Sometimes it's hard to nap at work. Like, when the boss is standing beside you or when you don't have a job.