@AmericanGent69: Online dating rule: If we meet up offline, and you look nothing like your pictures, then you're buying me drinks until you do.
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@ericsshadow: 8am: plain egg whites 1pm: greek yogurt 6pm: grilled chicken / mixed veggies 12am: every damn snack on earth
@stuckinaportal: my daughter brought home a drawing from preschool today and when i asked enthusiastically “honey, did you draw this???” she replied “someone else did but i took it”