@weinerdog4life: Online piracy is bad, one time I downloaded a boat
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@ericsshadow: I can tell exactly how much someone weighs by how much noise they make when I push them down the stairs.
@ScottLinnen: Imagine the towering achievements in aquatecture if sawfish & hammerhead sharks ever get their shit together
@heymonroe: There aren't enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.