@alldrolledup: Only 350 more followers until I casually mention the benefits of Amway.
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@BrassBallsCJ: How DARE you go the speed limit in a situation like this... ~Me, to anyone with the audacity to be in front of me when I'm running late.
@UncleDuke1969: "I'm calling you because you're easy." "You're not even very good." "You're just the best I can do this late." Dominos: "Your order, Sir?"
@OneFunnyMummy: I remember Daddy told me fairy tales can come true so any time an old lady offers me an apple or cookie I kill her and bury her in the woods
@psybermonkey: Me: what was with King Solomon having 300 concubines? Bible scholar: it's a mistranslation [Flashback] King Solomon: more porcupines