@InkedUpKidder: Only 5 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week..
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@KatrinaGibson13: Sawing a hole in the bottom of a table to steal someone's cake is way harder than it looks on cartoons.
@dubstep4dads: I wonder if Sallys parents were like "Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot."
@WhiteKid4Sale: Why do people say raw sewage. Saying raw makes it sound like it becomes better if cooked properly.
@jwomackou: Wife: how'd you get that burn on your arm?? Me (looking fabulous): not from your curling iron