@Shira: Only in America would people violently trample each other for discounts, exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have...
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@Laser_Cat: The guy who invented doors must have been a big hero to the thousands of people standing around outside their homes.
@LizHackett: I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
@ventivodkacran: I have too much stuff in my closet, so no one can be certain Tom Cruise isn't hanging out in there, too.
@notacroc: [spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is taco ME: four please JUDGE: we're not- ME: with chips JUDGE: ordering ME: *lips on mic* extra guac