@WineMummy: Only in Canada during a winter storm will you see kids playing road hockey.
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@ChaseMit: America's national mascot should just be a drunk white girl typing on a shattered iPhone.
@JPHaddadio: When I am president, it will be legal to grab the waists of slow and distracted pedestrians on cell phones and race them along.
@_NinJar: [Dr.] "Your blood is 40% cheese, if you eat ANY more you'll die" *slowly raises piece of cheese to mouth* "Don't do it" *eats cheese* *dies*