@WineMummy: Only in Canada during a winter storm will you see kids playing road hockey.
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@thatUPSdude: Honey I'm home from Costco. "You didn't buy anything stupid this time?" [looks outside at kayak strapped to roof rack] Define stupid?
@ermahgarton: MURDERER: could a murderer do THIS? *defendant proceeds to not kill anyone* JUDGE: he's got a point
@shahrouzt: The amount of times I've had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
@t_cuppp: Sit-ups are no fun, sharpie abs are definitely the way to go if you want permanent results.