@BreadFoster: Only in New York will they pay $5 a bottle for cold water, but cry when it's free from the sky.
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@StephenKing: Breaking News: Reliable sources reveal that Donald Trump is actually Cthulu. The absurd hairdo isn't absurd at all. It hides the tentacles.
@Tmoney68: "Can I get a do-over?" - Me, playing golf, tennis (or pretty much any sport), taking a test, having sex, making a speech, living my life....
@MarcusTheToken: Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep.
@scottdedalus: Just thinking up snappy comebacks to painful conversations I had 22 years ago. What are YOU doing?