@WilliamRodgers: ONLY Justin Bieber could make doing drugs look not cool...
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@badbanana: 65 mph wind gusts today. This is why Midwesterners are heavy. Everyone else rolls away like a tumbleweed.
@DamienFahey: 70% of the Earth's surface is water. The other 30% is covered in advertisements for The Blacklist.
@Prof_Hinkley: [commercial for tupperware] Are you done with that food, but would rather throw it away in 3 weeks rather than right now? - Tupperware
@1BigMick: When I drop my son off at school I do one arm pushups at the entrance to let the other dads know that's what's up. But they're all at work.