@ChaseLori: Only people who've walked into a sliding glass door can laugh when a bird crashes into a window. Everyone else who does it is a racist.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@droidbears: [caught hiding something in the garbage] gf: are you eating hot wings again? me: no gf: oh really, then touch your eyes me: god damnit
@TheMichaelRock: Oh, did my tweet insulting a celebrity upset you? Maybe you should tell them about it the next time you guys hang out.
@robwhisman: reminder: the best way to say benedict cumberbatch is to the tune of photograph by nickelback