@ChaseLori: Only people who've walked into a sliding glass door can laugh when a bird crashes into a window. Everyone else who does it is a racist.
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@LinajkReturns: If he buys your drink, but you're really not interested? Smile at him, thank him and then stick the olive up your nose.
@KentTheG: When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, "No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"
@FlyoverJoel: If people winked in real life as much as they do on the Internet, the world would be about 542.67% creepier.