@mattZillaaaa: Only take relationship advice from people who have really healthy relationships. So, no one
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@freypalm: Driver: My God… that weasel… Onlooker: He just went… “pop”… Weasel’s family: *sobbing* Ice-cream man: I’ve got an idea for a song y’all.
@IamEnidColeslaw: HEY. Our ancestors didn't eat brunch. They ate rocks. And fought dinosaurs. Ever heard of fire? They INVENTED it. Enjoy your Bloody Mary.
@PyrBliss: McDonalds wants you to tell your family you love them because if you keep eating McDonalds it won't be long before you're dead.