@baeblacksheep: ONLY text me in an emergency. Like my car's shooting flames from the trunk, one of my exes dies eventfully, or if someone thinks I'm sexy.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AnniemuMary: I painted 1 room & then the hallway and room next to it looked kinda shabby and I'm guessing this is how plastic surgery gets out of hand.
@AntozWolf: True friendship is when you walk into someone's house, and your WiFi connects automatically..
@uccjeb: Just saw 666 on a license plate and, in case you guys were wondering, Satan drives a Jeep.
@AnOrangeSNES: I hired a nanny to watch my kids. Little did she know they were just two sacks of potatoes. When I got home I accused her of witchcraft.