@LelooAssassin: only thing keeping me from being stripper is about 60 pounds
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@Book_Krazy: I don't do Botox anymore cause when I can't make my angry face, people just assume it's ok to talk to me.
@EricBedner: "Bye, losers." *puts on motorcycle helmet and sunglasses* *rides unicycle into an elevator* "Can you push the button for the lobby please."
@tastefactory: INTERVIEWER: What are your strengths? APPLICANT: I'm a detail-oriented team player [nothing wacky happens because this is a job interview]