@LelooAssassin: only thing keeping me from being stripper is about 60 pounds
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@DillDoes: *throws king crab into tank of normal crabs* Go, lead them to freedom, this is your birthright
@curlycomedy: How can you teach your child about adversity if you don't leave a diaper unchanged once in a while?
@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes What's black and white and makes a lot of noise? A panda with a set of drums.
@sixthformpoet: How many Happy Meals do you need to eat before they start to work? I've just had six and I feel terrible.