@Marlebean: Oops, I "accidentally" left my in-laws at the grocery store. Darn. I guess I'll just have to get them Monday on the way back to the airport.
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@jazmasta: [Walks into steam room at gym] "good morning my.." "Dave no!" "my est.." "Please Dave no.." "..My eSTEAMed colleagues" "Everyone hates you"
@minnie_in_pink7: The most realistic thing about Stranger Things is how much time kids in the 80s spent without parental supervision.
@TheBoydP: Brain cancer from cell phones is no longer considered a risk because who holds their phone up to their head anymore?
@uncle_fescue: Buddy: her boyfriend was killed? Me: Yeah, she said he was hung like a horse but I'm like, who even kills horses like that?