@sumpeoplelikeit: Open books don't get judged by their covers.
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@tylerschmall: Hi, fire department? My cat is in a tree. Television has taught me that this is your problem.
@sexncake: I'm trying to become a vegetarian so from now I'm only eating seafood. Like lobster, prawns and drowned cows.
@neiltyson: I wonder what Cannibals & Aztecs would say, watching civilized people eat symbolic hearts of loved ones on Valentine’s Day.
@hipchkk: If the majority of twitter's trending topics are any indication of the state of humanity thus far, we clearly need an asteroid intervention.