@Diversion50: "Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an autopsy.
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@TravLeBlanc: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with two police officers, you'll know that setting them free was a bad idea.
@ComedicBust: Whenever I wear a suit I spend the entire time talking into my collar and sleeve, because if I’m going to be uncomfortable, I’m going to at least pretend to be a spy.
@_Ms_Moneypenny_: I want to surprise my boyfriend by sending him a sexy pic while he's at work, but I can't decide what outfit to put on the cat.
@stuckinaportal: *leans over sink* *splashes face w cold water* *stares at self in mirror* *returns to couch where my niece is playing mario kart* best of 3