@ch000ch: OPEN UP. THIS IS THE POLICE. THANK YOU. CAN WE USE YOUR BATHROOM
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@ScottLinnen: Turns out telling a friend "you're giving off a weird vibe tonight" is not the most direct way to tell them they're on fire
@AndrewNadeau0: SHAKESPEARE: Brevity is the soul of wit. ME: *Shows him twitter* SHAKESPEARE: Okay, well, no, obviously not like that.
@jannable9: Kate who dumped me at junior school now wants me to like her interior decorating Facebook page. How the tables have turned Kate.
@shelbyfero: "Make it two if you count my great personality - three if we include my charm! Hahahahaha oh um yes it's a table for one."