@CatsForDinnerz: Opened a can of expired beans and an eagle flew out carrying a photo of a can of fresh beans. I nervously ate the photo while he observed.
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@Reverend_Scott: Recent studies link bacon to cancer. "Ya, don't eat bacon, you'll get so much cancer", said one pink scientist.
@IGotsSmarts: She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically.
@therealeatwood: [Watching Amityville Horror remake from 2005] ME: Don’t buy it! Don’t buy that house! YOU IDIOTS! THE REAL ESTATE MARKET IS ABOUT TO CRASH!