@CatsForDinnerz: Opened a can of expired beans and an eagle flew out carrying a photo of a can of fresh beans. I nervously ate the photo while he observed.
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@sixfootcandy: Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor's yard to cut it down is an art.
@AimeeHelene1: The best call ever would be "Hey, it's me!", but from your dog... Because: 1. Aww your dog's calling you 2. Holy shit your dog can talk!!
@100DollarChill: *Lysol kills 99.9% of germs on my counter* LYSOL: "Hey .1% germs... ( -_-)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Tell your friends"